Tending one's animal, one's malleable, one's matchless
bending (which is breathing, which may be bleating) is [ ]
a form of hovering, a fern for gathering, and also
way for wind and cousin silence to be skeined.
Unknowable unless dressed in soundly seeing;
unkowtowable when naked, they seek a closer clothing.
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6 comments:
I like the results but this isn't exactly what I was proposing.
Maybe the directions weren't clear. In my mind it would be more challenging if one of us were to write a couplet to post and then wait until the other has written and posted his addition to it. And then, having read that, to add another couplet, wait for the collaborative echo, then add another, etc.
That way the poem will be in effect written backwards in a kind of authorial call and response.
Let's try again.
Can you kick this off, then? I admit I wasn't entirely clear. And I'm still not sure if you want one line (to be completed by me) or two lines. I'm excited to get started, so let it rip.
Editorial suggestion.
Cut "holy holdover". Just end with 'is' on that second line.
NOW the poem feels right and balanced.
I like this one in particular.
Though now I think it needs one more couplet to round off the end. That final line doesn't quite have the flair of resolution.
Mini-challenge 1: You add the final couplet here (as a comment). Once the anti-heroic couplet is done, I will repost "Folk Seeing at Birling" with your couplet attached.
Mini-challenge 2: At some point, also in the future, I will begin an essay (which we will post as a footnote and/or appendix to the poem "Folk Seeing at Birling." This small essay will explain the concept of Folk Seeing by referencing a range of (invented/faked) theories about Folk Seeing, the Folk Seeing movement (which started in the early 20's), artists who worked exclusively in the mode, artists who abandoned the mode (and why), scientists who contributed to the advancement of the mode, philosophers who briefly touched on the mode, etc.
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